Dress Me Now - For Our Daughters

Not Long agoI was pleased and honored to run the Honolulu marathon for the Dress Me Now team. How was it? It was a blur of images and sounds that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

26.2 miles. People cheering. Feet pounding. The dark. The rain. The cold. The heat. The pain and exhaustion. The breathless exhilaration. The finish line. The medal. The hugs. The tears. But most of all … the women.

Over 10,000 women from all over the world … in all colors, shapes and sizes. All beautiful. All there to push themselves harder and faster than they have ever pushed themselves before.

It wasn't about how we looked on the outside. It was about looking inward and calling on resources that we didn't know we had. It was finishing and knowing that those resources were there all the time and can be drawn on whenever we needed them from that day on.

What a rush to be surrounded by so many women who believed in themselves and what they could do. Women who had no time for self-pity or to play the victim. Women who knew that they had no one but themselves to blame if they didn't cross that finish line. But they also knew that there was valor in trying and if they didn't make it, they can try again.

As the faster women passed the slower women, there was nothing but cheers and support coming from both sides. Even though running is a solitary effort, we felt like a team and knew that when one of us succeeded, we all did.

Age was not an issue. More than a third of the women were over 40 and dozens of them finished in the top 100. There were women running in their 70's and 80's!

Physical disability was not an issue. Women in wheelchairs finished the race in times that were faster than most of the men.

Our team trained for six months for marathon day. We learned from the experts how to run, what to eat and what to wear. Life's the same way. Gut instincts will only get you so far. In life, you have to find a role model, a mentor, somebody who's been where you want to go. Ask them for help or follow their example. Read books. Take classes. Life is full of teachers. Get good ones and follow their advice.

26.2 miles is a long way, especially when pain, exhaustion and self-doubt start to take hold. If you run in a group, you have your running mates to tell you a joke, give you the pep talk you need or stay with you when you fall. Life's no different. It does take a village. Weight Watchers, with its weekly group weigh-ins, has built an empire based on this axiom. There's an advantage in being with other women like yourself. Women who are experiencing the same challenges that you are. But be careful, the wrong group can be worse than being alone. I've known running groups that put the "D" in dysfunctional. Make sure the support is there for you to be the best that you can be. They should help you overcome your challenge, not give you an excuse to wallow in it.

When your total journey stretches over 26 miles, one misstep here or there is not important to you. If you fall, you make up your mind not to make the same mistake again and keep going. In life, we fall all the time -- unhealthy lifestyles, failed relationships - but we can't let the misstep define who we are. If you fall, you make up your mind not to make the same mistake again and keep going,

To run a successful marathon, you have to have the discipline to train, to go without alcohol, to eat balanced meals and sometimes to get up at the crack of dawn when all you want to do is pull the covers up and go back to sleep. But when you do what you have to do, you run the race healthy and strong and you get that mind-bending sense of accomplishment that only comes from crossing that finish line. You should live every day of your life like that. Set a goal for yourself - losing weight, getting a degree, starting a business etc. And do whatever it takes to get you to your goal. Do not waver in your efforts. When you attain your goal, the pride you get from your accomplishment will take you farther than you ever dreamed.

The runner who comes in last is just as jazzed about finishing as the runner who came in first. (Okay, so the runner who came in last doesn't get a Hyundai.) But the sense of accomplishment is great for both runners. Some runners can only do a twenty minute mile. Some can do it in ten. That's because all bodies are different. The slower runner can try to match the faster runner but not without injury. Think of that when your self-esteem plummets the next time you look in a mirror. Winning in life is not about achieving an abstract idea of beauty or even financial gain. It's about knowing what your dreams are and doing what it takes to accomplish them. It's about not feeling sorry for yourself or blaming the other guy. Winning at life is about living every day you have with discipline, integrity and pride.

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