Dress Me Now - Soul Food

Think of the last time you saw a natural wonder like a beautiful flower, a sunset or a mountain stream. Did you despair that you didn't look like the sunset? Did you berate yourself for weighing more than the flower? Did you run out to have yourself surgically altered to fit the proportions of the mountain stream?

So, why does your self-esteem take a roller coaster ride when you see what western society calls a "beautiful" woman?

Logic dictates that your response to the beautiful woman should be the same as the response to the flower. The beautiful woman should be accepted as the natural (or in some cases unnatural) wonder that she is and life goes on . But reality is a different matter. All it takes is one glimpse of a "picture perfect" female to send most women running like Chicken Little, their emotional sky falling, straight for the diet pill, the scalpel or the refrigerator.

If this sounds like you, stop. Unruffle your feathers and listen. First of all, just because Western society calls something "beautiful" doesn't mean it's so. After all, an entire race of people are mistakenly called "Indians" because Christopher Columbus refused to ask for directions. And, speaking of Western society, did you know that its definition of beauty changes? In the 60's, it was Twiggy. In the 90's, it was Pamela Anderson. In other words, beauty is like the weather in Seattle. Just wait a few minutes. It'll change.

Oh, and those "beautiful" women. Do they have it all? They do. They have all the same issues and self-doubts as you. To win their individual beauty wars, they have had to give up luxuries like good health, good nutrition and the freedom to be who they are. They've learned how to be what someone else wants them to be and they have to stick with it.

So, how do we stop this madness? How do women regain control and take back the streets? How do we fight the military onslaught launched by the media that torpedoed women's self-esteem in the first place?

I'll tell you how. Guerilla warfare. Like the out-gunned and out-numbered rebel army that we are, we'll do it one house at a time. One woman at a time. And we'll start with you.

The very first thing you do is … mind your own business. That's right. I want you to create a frame of mind where your world is so rich and so full that what another woman looks like has nothing to do with you.

Create a world of personal fulfillment. Focus on what's good in yourself. Follow the common sense to be found in these three words - get a life.

Next time something or someone makes you feel like the ugly sister at the ball, don't go to the refrigerator. Go to a music lesson. Train for a marathon. Learn a new language. Or volunteer at a food kitchen. If all of that seems too much, find the nearest child (especially if it's your own) and help them bake cookies. Or maybe just give them a hug.

Go follow your bliss or the Grateful Dead. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you leave the "pity party" behind and find those things in life that make you glow with the joy of your own achievements.

If you're successful, you can look at a pretty flower, a sunset or even today's version of a "pretty" woman and appreciate them as much as you've learned to appreciate yourself.

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