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Penny

May-24-03, 04:44 PM (PST)
 
"How do I dress at 40?"
 
   One thing I'd like help with is some information about dressing my age. I really hate it when women in their 40's (I am 40) try to dress like they are 20. I'd like to gracefully and truthfully embrace my age and dress appropriate to it. Can you give me a clue what styles and fashions are best for my age in this day and age?

I also need help in knowing what things, maybe what particular fabrics even are appropriate for seasons, including color of shoes and all that.


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Shirley

May-31-03, 06:51 PM (PST)
 
1. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jun-01-03 AT 01:32 AM (PST) by dmnadmin (admin)
 
We dedicate a whole chapter on this subject in the book but here’s what we think in a nut-shell. Dressing at 40 depends on three things – your face, your body and the image you want to project. Since we don't know what you look like we can’t answer your particulars but we can give you a basic guideline to follow.

Thanks to hair color products and the advent of gyms, a lot of women don’t look like the traditional 40. If you're one of them, you don't have to change your look that drastically based on age alone.

But if you feel you look older, it’s time to show the world that you didn’t get older just better. If you don't want to fade into the background, chic, tasteful and classic styles are more for you. Try to go a little more tailored and be a lot more co-ordinated when you dress.

Don’t limit yourself on color. Dressing plain and simple is a mistake. If you dress that way, you’ll feel that way. Find colors that are warm and when accessorizing, don’t shy away from a few bright splashes. The same goes for shoes. Depending on where you live, there's still the old taboo of no white shoes before winter but other than that, choose the colors that fit your outfit and your mood.

Showing good taste is really important when a woman gets to be a “certain age”. So, fabric wise, the same advice holds no matter what the season. Avoid anything that’s sheer or that would look better on a club dance floor.

Just keep in mind that the image of a mature woman should be of someone who’s lived life and has handled it all with taste and style.


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Lisa

Jun-22-03, 09:50 AM (PST)
 
2. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jun-23-03 AT 02:23 AM (PST) by dmnadmin (admin)
 
Personally I think you should look for good quality 'classic' clothes and I think it is important to buy the best materials. For example a shearling coat, leather trousers, cashmere top, etc.



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Jess

Nov-12-04, 09:56 PM (PST)
 
3. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #2
 
   I am a fashion fanatic but im only 13. I want to become a fashion designer when im older if that says n e thing i make my own clothes too! My mom is almost forty she is 38. She wears some of the cutest clothes and everyone loves them and she gets all of her clothes and New York and Company at the mall go there you will love it!


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DRESS AT 40 ???

Jan-09-05, 09:59 PM (PST)
 
4. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #0
 
   GREETINGS TO YOU FROM THE CANARY ISLANDS, AFRICA - SPAIN'S LAST COLONY IN AFRICA FIGHTING FOR OUR INDEPENDENCE.

Well, when it comes to style, class, etc., it is us -Canarians or Canary Islanders- who know a lot about it. After reading your question "How to dress at 40?", I am happy to tell you how.

Keeping up appearances. Looking good as you get older requires attention to what flatters your body, not just what's in fashion.

Age is an attitude and glamour a serious consideration for women/men until they drop dead.

Keep up appearances as you become more mature. Go towards the more elegant areas of fashion rather than brash, trashy looks.

Embrace colour and print, but avoid cheap fabrics. Choose shapes and styles that flatter your body.

Be & Look Confident. Confident about your body shape, where you are in your life and the image you want to project.

Style is about personality.

Use clothing to your advantage - age should not ultimately dictate wardrobe choices.

Well, happy to help a lady in "distress" (joke).

From the Canary Islands, Africa, your guarding angel ATOGMATOMA XXX (male).


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elle

Feb-16-05, 11:00 PM (PST)
 
5. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #4
 
   I'm 41 and I don't look like the "traditional" woman of this age, or so people say. Everyone seems to assume I'm 28, when I tell them the truth they're astonished. The point is no one at any particular age necessarily looks the same. I agree with the person from Canary Isl. Age should not dictate your clothing choices. Of course you want to project a "mature" image but you can do that without looking like a frumpy, dumpy, blah person, which is what a lot of mature women seem to assume. Personally I dress classic with an edge. I wear the low cut boot leg jeans that are in style but in dark colors, I love the small blazers, I love classic T-shirts (sans messages like "cutie" and "hotie" better suited to my 18-year old baby sister). I love leather, I love color, I love suits. I get my suits from "gasp" the junior's department. I just don't like how the suits are cut in misses, too loose, too boxy, and quite frankly too ugly.
Today I'm wearing a colorful butterfly color shirt with vertical stipes, a short red leather blazer, black wide legged pants and banana heel boots (no platforms!). My jewelry: medium sized silver hoops and a wide hammered look silver cuff bracelet. Classic/Mod/ with a nod to the trends. Do wear what's in style, just don't go overboard that is no excessive shimmer, details, or wild color from head to foot. At forty, you're still young.


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Donalda G.

Feb-18-05, 06:02 AM (PST)
 
6. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #5
 
   Like the old bag you are. . But seriously, youth drives the trends, youth is what is fashionable, youth is what is thought of as sexy. Middle aged and Mom are not supposed to be sexy. Mom and middle aged is comfortable, responsible, out of shape, unhip, seen styles come and go and would rather stick with the tried and true. Middle age is considered the pit stop just before death. Designers don't care about you. In fact, the sooner you're out of the picture the better so they can hook the young. You can't hook the young unless what you're offering doesn't have old folks dust on it. That's where you get all of these rules about age-appropriate this and age-appropriate that.

I'd really for once like someone to explain exactly what that means besides you can't wear ANYTHING that remotely resembles what someone younger than 30 would wear. No matter what your body looks like, the fashionistas say you can't wear a miniskirt after 25, you must wear tapered jeans, high-waisted khakis, or applique vests, and come up with your own "style," which, for a lot of older women quickly devolves into either some earth mother hippy chick look, some other hideous costumy look or a wardrobe of dull-colored stuffy classics. I also find it funny that in a time when people are living longer and looking better that middle age has been slowly creeping back through the decades to include 35 year olds.

Senior hood now begins at 55, at least at Dennys. Face it, the fashion industry would be perfectly happy if you just put on a gunny sack on your thirtieth birthday and blended into the woodwork because sexy for women is pretty much over once you're past girls gone wild age. There's not even a middle aged sensuality to be found that isn't mocked in the media. Forty year olds are either horny predetors pathetically trying to hold on to their youth, or mumsy washouts with bad haircutswho drive their husbands into the arms of a more exciting (and stylishly dressed) younger woman.

I go to the misses department to laugh at the ugly assed clothes women of a "certain age" are supposed to wear. Bold horizontal stripes, comical prints like cats on shapeless t-shirts, boxy jackets that look to made out of sofa upholstery. WTF? Boring jeans that close at the ankles, high-waisted jumper dresses. Everything that's frumpy, dumpy, not at all fashionable, and designed to hide instead of enhance. With clothes like this, who needs birth control?


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Barbara

Feb-21-05, 07:53 PM (PST)
 
7. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #6
 
   Donalda, not only are you right on, you're a great writer. Loved it.


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Amy

Feb-26-05, 03:50 PM (PST)
 
8. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #7
 
   Dressing at or after 40? Pffttt... I'm 46 and I consider my self a dressing DiVa! I agree with the fact that most stores offer elastic waist pants, "cute" little doggy sweaters..or some other horrible "cover up the old lady" styles. Well..they can all just stick it! Yes I do wear classic clothes but never boring clothes! I get complimented all the time because I keep up with the fashions but NEVER appear trendy. Some of my "rules"
1. I do not own anything that has: cute animals, horizontal stripes, large prints, elastic waists, pleated "80's " pants.

2. HIgh Heels. high heels, high heels!!! My trade mark saying: The only time you will remove my heels are when I'm cold and dead. Now I don't want to hear any complaints. I work 8-9 hours a day, walking, getting out of my car...(I'm in corportate sales) up and down stairs.

3. We are sexy and sensual..accent your best feature! Mine is: my long neck and long legs! I wear skirts and scarves,

4. Own it when you walk into a room...confidence is the ultimate turn on!

Oh and where do I shop? Upscale consignment, designer outlets, goodwill (found a pale yellow silk Anne Taylor dress for 3.00) ANYWHERE...ebay for shoes.
Fashion is a state of mind!

Peace
Amy


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Gypsy

Mar-16-05, 08:19 PM (PST)
 
9. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #8
 
   However old you are, you should always dress with class. It goes without saying that you shouldn't try to dress like a teenager, that is show an obscene amount of skin in the daytime, wear super tight stuff or ultra-girly stuff with lots of bows and fringes and sparkles, etc. Other than that, wear whatever. I don't agree with people that say you can't wear a miniskirt, or color, or anything that doesn't look stuffy and matronly. A lot of people feel they have to dress a certain way at 40 because they have this stereotypical imagine in mind of a forty-year old woman, which generally is some soccer mom type who is no longer a "real woman" like she was when she was younger, that is possessing some style and sexuality. I think women fear they will be talked about behind their backs or accused of "trying to be young." Trust me that most of the folks thinking this are just envious because they don't have the guts to play against type themselves. Everybody should dress according to what looks good on you body, not necessarily your age. I don't care what anybody says. Articles of clothing don't have ages sewed on the inside of them like "this mini skirt for women 25 and under only." When I was younger my mom and I shared clothes. Of course she wore the clothes in a different way than I would. Don't be afraid to dress how you like in whatever you like that flatters your body and suits your personality, that's all I'm trying to say. Sorry to ramble!


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Bryum

Mar-29-05, 09:44 PM (PST)
 
10. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #8
 
   Amy, what a pleasure it is to hear from a lady who knows the power and class of wearing high heels, and often! I am a gentleman who can hardly fathom why so many women have lost the concept that their greatest accessory is shoes, and that high heels just literally scream of powerful, unabashed feminity. I am proud for you and your sense of feminine class. We gentlemen need more just like you. Bryum


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Amy

Apr-05-05, 01:22 AM (PST)
 
11. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #10
 
   Why thank you Bryum! It is true, so many women wear the UGLIEST footwear! Haven't a clue why!
Gypsy, I agree with you too! The 40's of today are the 30's of years ago. I think women should dress in a way that makes them feel powerful. But hey thats just me.

AMy


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Donalda G.

Apr-13-05, 09:45 PM (PST)
 
12. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #11
 
   It just amuses me how many women turn 40 and suddenly have anxiety about how they should dress. I think it's silly, really. Just because one woman wants to wear what is in style and likes fashion she's accused of being desperate to keep her youth. How would anyone know that? She could be perfectly happy being 40 and just happen to enjoy fashion. I have no idea why age is attached to fashion. Do they put "anyone over thirty do not wear or buy" on clothes these days, or did I miss that? I'm just trying to understand the anxiety because I never had it. The only anxiety I ever had surrounding what to wear was when I was overweight and didn't want my rolls to show. Other than that I still wear haltertops, I wear tanks, I wear "gasp" low-rise bootcut jeans (although not Britney spears style, that's just trashy whether you're 18 or 38). If you wear clothes with a sense of style and decorum, you can wear anything at any age. It's the body that you have to consider, not the calendar! If I may play dime store psychologist, I think the anxiety may come from what society expects 40-year olds to do which is abandon their sex kitten side, hide themselves and become invisible and what one feels inside which is not at all old or ready to relegated to the trash heap. Because isn't that what it's really about? Older women being seen as desirable and worthy to wear sexy clothes.


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Donalda G.

Apr-15-05, 08:30 PM (PST)
 
13. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #12
 
   A stereotype is a fixed or conventional image of a person or group of people. Stereotypes generally conform to a pattern of dress and behavior that is easily recognized and understood.

By forty you should know what you're about, what looks good on you and what doesn't, what style you like and those you don't. Why in sand hill would you allow whoever the arbiters of what forty-year old women should look like, dictate to you what is a pretty personal decision. I wouldn't fear dressing like a kid, or worrying that people will tag you a mutton. Presumably you're not in the habit of lifting whole outfits from the junior's department or aping Britney Spear's style. I think a woman of 40 can wear anything trendy as long as it's in good taste and suits her body type. There's no reason to feel you need to "dress your age" which is an oppressive concept and frankly a stereotype when you really think about it. I mean what is the actually definition of dressing your age? Who decides? Your teenage daughter? Your peers? Society? Shouldn't what you wear depend on your lifestyle, your body shape and your personality? Every 40 year old woman is not alike. We are all different, so I can't understand blanket pronouncements about what articles of clothing are okay to where and those that aren't. Besides dressing like a total skank or as though you are 30 years older because it's safe, I'm not really sure what "age-appropriate" means. Myself, I am not a stereotype and I refuse to let the invisible arbiters of what is best for me turn me into one. How should you dress at 40? Any damn way that pleases you. Can you tell I'm very passionate about this subject?


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Male opinion

May-15-05, 05:51 AM (PST)
 
14. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #0
 
   Male opinion - I gleaned this subject as I was having a hard time dealing with the way my wife is choosing to dress. She is 32 and has both classic and rather curvy features. She turns heads with three kids in tow wearing a sweat suit. My problem, which I will get to my answer of "dress at 40" is that my wife has taken to a fashion that I believe is provacative (the Terry Thatcher/Desperate housewives). It's sad -- because in the end it is just a trend, but it is taking a relatively classy, and terrribly wonderfult wife, down the road of cheap looking trend. Bottem line, at any age, take the higher road - buy quality clothes, certain things always work (i.e. Hermes silk scarf), and don't reveal too much, it brings both respect, and from a male point of view, intrique.


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Donalda G.

May-17-05, 08:45 PM (PST)
 
15. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #14
 
   I agree that dressing tastefully is key. Tight enough and just enough skin to show you're a woman not a streetwalker goes for any age group. I think what some women grapple with and why suddenly there's this anxiety about what to wear is that they don't feel ready to adhere to the dowdy stereotype of what society thinks (or thought until the Despearate Housewives came along) a forty plus woman should wear. People say things like, I don't want to look like my daughter, I know I'm not 18, 20, 25, but or I want to be age appropriate but...Frankly, if you want to be age appropriate there is no dearth of "age-appropriate" wear targeted towards 40 and over. I see these clothes all the time. I don't wear them, but I see them.
They're the same clothes targeted to middle-agers year after year, and women my age have rejected them because we're in better shape than ever and we don't see why we should wear these unflattering, off-the fashion radar duds. We don't appreciate being lumped in a 40 and over category as if being 40 and being 55 or 60 were the same. At least that's how I feel. Many of the middle-ager clothes are so boxy and ugly that it's ridiculous. The emphasis of these clothes seems to be to cover-up instead of enhance and they often don't even give a not to the runway at all, sticking to staid classics. You honestly may as well wear a sack. My personal solution has been to mix more classic bottoms with junior tops and I'm never inappropriate because I know what shapes work on me and what shapes don't. Junior fashion seems to be extreme and busy. If you avoid anything like that, you can look grown-up and edgy without looking ridiculous.


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Wendy

Jul-01-05, 06:04 PM (PST)
 
16. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #15
 
   It all depends on what body type you have at that age. I am 36 and still have the same measurements as when I was a teen. I still love dressing in the cute junior styles. I know that some will say that its tacky or cheap looking at that age, but I don't think it is and don't care what others say. I am still getting "looks" from the 19 YO boys at the mall in my mini skirts and heels. I get all sorts of compliments and get hit on all the time from the older men when I go out. It seem that many older guys have this daddy image and really like my style. I went to a cousins wedding last month and turns out I was wearing the same dress as a girl that was there who couldn't have been older than 16 or so. It is an aqua color spaghetti strap that has a really pretty scalloped handerchief hem. She asked where I got it and I told her at MANDEE. She said that's where she got hers also and if I shop there alot. I told her it's my favorite store and she thought it was so cool that I liked the same kinds of clothes that her and her freinds like.


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Bill

Oct-10-05, 01:14 AM (PST)
 
18. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #16
 
   Is the answer different for a married woman? #16 says "I get all sorts of compliments and get hit on all the time..." If a woman is married, my question is, why is she looking for this attention? My wife is very attractive; she is 36. She wears tons of spagetti strap tops and the like and skin tight jeans. I often wonder why? To me, this is not how a married or attached (not sure if age matters) woman should dress on a regular basis.


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Donalda G.

Nov-16-05, 08:02 PM (PST)
 
19. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #18
 
   Dude, be glad your wife is dressing sexy. I have to assume she's dressing that way for your pleasure, so why aren't you pleased? Would you rather see her dressed like some frumpy, mumsy, soccor mom?
I have a boyfriend for whom I dress hot all the time. In fact, that's how I "snagged" him. He's a younger guy too. You best believe that had I been dressing like society seems to want 40-year olds to dress he wouldn't have given me a second glance. Maybe you're afraid that your wife is gonna run off, or you don't appreciate the looks she's getting from other guys. Me, I love it when other women check out my cute, younger boyfriend. What do I care, because I know he's going home with me. It's a turn on. He feels the same way about me. When other guys are checking me out it let's him know what good taste he has in women and makes me all the more desirable. Count your blessings that you have a sexy wife with the confidence to show off what she was blessed with. Peace out.


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kk

Nov-19-05, 03:21 PM (PST)
 
20. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #19
 
   So your saying in order to snag a guy you need to be attractive and sexy? Women should not be thought of as a person only has what is seen on the outside? Why does society have to be this way.

What about all us others who cant wear those spagetti straps.

You know if a plump girl/woman does people get that eewww look on their faces.

I think the world needs some modesty at some times. But woman over forty can do this without looking frumpy or trying to be 18 again. It just takes more work.


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Donalda G.

Dec-06-05, 00:38 AM (PST)
 
21. "RE: How do I dress at 40?"
In response to message #20
 
   Of course it's more than your looks that get a man's attention. But men are visual creatures, pure and simple, and they are attracted initially to women because of how they look and there's nothing wrong with trying to look your best. BTW, I look sexy without looking trampy at all. I do not wear miniskirts, belly shirts, or ultra tight jeans or extremely low cut tops. For instance today I have on a blush rose sweater, v-neck, with a pretty rose closure, brown gouchos and brown knee boots. It's current but tasteful and my white camisole peeks out from my sweater. The only skin I'm showing is my neck and upper chest. Even though I have on two trendy items, the gouchos and cami, I'm wearing them in an understated, adult way. And unlike the teens that are wearing gouchos, I'm wearing mine the way they were meant to be worn, with boots. I wore gouchos the first time in '78 and I'm wearing them again! Take that fashionistas!

Just because you're overweight doesn't mean you can't wear a cami or spaghetti straps. Maybe you can do what I do and pair it with a sweater or a blazer. I know a lot of plus sized women who dress very current and stylish. I myself was once a plus sized woman, so I know it can be done. You just have to adapt trends to suit your body type.
Peace.


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