Words of wisdom for young women from ages 4 to 104

BACK TO SCHOOL

Okay, school has started. Your arguments with your mother about what to wear and how to wear it has died down or at least you’ve both declared a truce.

You’re still getting used to new books, new teachers and new friends. But the big question as you sit in class dressed in one or two (or more) designer labels, what are you learning? I’m not talking about cramming for pop quizzes that your teacher springs on you. I’m asking about what “life” is teaching you right now.

My guess is that you’re learning more about how to spend money than how to earn it. That being popular is more important than being smart. But, here’s the one that gets me, you’re also discovering that how you look is more important than who you are, what you say, how you feel or what you think.

You learn along with reading, writing and ‘rithmetic that your looks pigeonhole you – your clothes, your hair, your face, your race. Whether you’re a “Goth” in the Bible belt or a Minnesota milkmaid in the Bronx, you will do everything within your power to become a photocopy of everyone else. To your parents’ dismay, you will tattoo, pierce and expose parts of your body to be with the “in” crowd. If that’s not enough to show your friends that you’re “cool”, you will then straighten, perm, cut and color your hair into a state not found in nature.

But, guess what, I bet you do this while hoping that no one will notice how out of place you still really feel. That you’re playing a part and you pray every night that they won’t find out that you’re terribly miscast. The good news is you’ll get invited to all the parties. The bad news is that you will go on playing your part and living a lie for the rest of the school year or the rest of your life.

I’m writing this to let you know that the truth of who you are is much better than the mask you wear to fit in. You were born “you” for a reason. Trust me, the truer you stay to yourself, the more magnificent you will become. After all, being a photocopy of something is settling for second best.

Do I think that just by writing this article I will convince you, and millions of young women like you, to throw out your designer labels and toe rings and show your unadorned face to the world? I admit it’s a recurrent dream that I have but in reality there are far greater forces who have more access to and influence over you than I.

Unfortunately, your guiding stars, literally the film and music celebrities and the corporations they tout for, don’t give a darn about you. As long as they move you to reach for your or someone else’s wallet, they’re happy. The emotional wreck they make of your life doesn’t even register on their economic radar.

So, even though I am a voice in the wilderness, I hope you will hear my words and take them to heart. If you feel out of step and out of place with the world around you, rejoice. It’s because you are unique. You were meant to be.

You need to know this. Your difference is our strength. Species evolve because of the DNA that is different. So be your gorgeous naturally straight, kinky, curly, brunette, blonde or red-headed self. Your voice, your interests, your dreams are the most valuable things society has. They’re the very things that could help us all evolve.

Don’t change yourself to fit someone else’s image of the status quo. Besides, how many big-busted, bottle blondes does a society require? Last time I checked, we have all the trophy wives and news anchors we need.

What we really need are bright, young women like you. Young women who are not joiners but leaders. Who are thinkers not followers. Who can see the truth through the lies that we are bombarded with daily.

I strongly believe that independent, self-directed young women like you will be our saviors. You will find the cures for cancer. You will find more ways to clothe and feed the hungry and maybe, just maybe, you will be the daughters who will give us peace in our time.

No photocopy will ever do that. And so if you want to change the world for the better and do it with purple hair and a hole in your tongue because that’s who you really are, then do it … just don’t tell your mother.

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